Last Sunday I ran a half marathon. I had trained hard for this race doing speed work, interval pace work, and don’t forget the long sloggy rainy runs that were as cold as a well-digger’s arse. I was so ready for this race! Lo and behold, my back did not seize up Friday — less than 48 hours before the race.
I know myself and my Enneagram type — as an eight I get ANGRY! I was as mad as an old wet hen.
The Habits of Emotions
WHAATT? Are you kidding me? I could not believe it. My body was so ready to run and now this!
So what do you do when you all your plans seem to fall apart? How do you react? What thoughts, feelings, and emotions come up? How do you manage your emotions?
Emotions can be habitual patterns of thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. So if you want to change a habit, you have to become aware of the pattern first. The process outlined below will transform and transcend the habits that are sabotaging your success.
Here is the 3 Step Transformational Process to Build Your Emotional Muscle:
STOP, DROP & ROLL
1. Stop and notice what is coming up. Can you become the silent witness to the emotions? Watch the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs as if they are the even news scrolling on the bottom of the television. Just watch them without getting into the story and giving them more power. The more you focus on the feelings and give them a voice, the more they grow. So just begin by noticing them. It is like watching a crazy sitcom if you can calm the big Self down enough to just notice the little self — notice the stories and the emotional change.
2. Drop the defense and the story. When you can let go of the reaction —the anger, anxiety, shame, fear, etc… and just sit with it. Drop it and watch it dissipate into thin air. I like to imagine it (anger) sitting in my hand and just allowing it to evaporate. I also have imagined sitting under a waterfall and allowing grace to wash it away. Sometimes the emotions are so charged with volts of power, it takes grace to wash them away.
3. Roll into the Present Moment with Compassion. When you can really become present to this moment in time, you can experience what Eckhart Tolle calls The Power of Now. There is definitely something mystical that happens in the present moment. Just breathe and be right here. Know you are pure love ~ pure essence. You are not the emotions, thoughts, feelings, or beliefs. You are so much more than the personality.
When you can calm the true Self down and just be present, everything becomes more manageable. Using this simple 3 step process has profoundly changed many lives over the course of the past 2 years. It is simple. It is not always easy. The key is to use this as a practice. Just like going to the gym to work your biceps, you have to learn to navigate your emotions and this strategy will help you gain strength and confidence to becoming stronger and having better relationships in all areas of your life.
Start to notice how the habit of simply noticing your emotions will become a powerful catalyst for change.
I completed the race on Sunday in a lot of physical pain but my emotions were in check. Mental toughness can help you achieve more than you can ever imagine. I released the attachment to the goal and stayed present in the moment.
“The cause of suffering is attachment.”
Buddha
Emotional Fitness helps you transcend suffering. Isn’t that the whole reason we are all here ~ To end human suffering? We can only do this by elevating our levels of consciousness. This is an invitation for you to get out of the habit of the emotions that keep you on a hamster wheel and to become LOVE which is a state of consciousness, not an emotion.
I have a free webinar coming up March 17 at 2:00 and the next 4-week series: Enneagram & Relationships. I hope you will join me and start on the Journey to Freedom.
Namaste,
Jen
P.S. If you already know you want to say ‘yes’ to transforming your relationships, you can go ahead and sign up for the Enneagram & Relationships Course at the early bird price here.