I don’t know about you, but I will be the first to admit that being in a relationship is hard work! Whether the relationship is with a family member, a significant other, co-worker or a neighbor, it takes effort to stay connected and in alignment.
For years I was afraid to allow myself to get close to anyone. I was afraid if I let them in my heart, they had the potential to hurt me in some way. I had a therapist tell me once, that if I did not let the big brick walls down, I would never really experience true love and intimacy. I quickly responded, “well that is fine and dandy with me!”
Years after that conversation, I met my husband. I remember going to the bathroom and calling my sister telling her I was scared of him. If you know me, you know I am a ball of bossy big energy who is not afraid of anything. She reminded of this simple fact and said, “get out of the bathroom and go have dinner with the dude. What can he possibly do to you?”
I intuitively knew I had met someone who met me with the same level of energy. I was scared to death!
Fast forward 17 yrs and he still scares me but for very different reasons. Back then I was genuinely afraid to open my heart and allow that kind of love and intimacy invade my protected walls.
It took a looonng time to trust enough to let him in. Even after we were married, I would question myself. I created conflict to keep him away. I played all sorts of games that could have sabotaged the whole gig. We used to have these terrible fights.
I would call my friends and my sister and whine about this or that, always wondering why this was happening. Was this just the way it’s supposed to be? Could it get better?
Well, I am here to tell you HELL YEAH!
It is can be sooo much better. After learning the Enneagram and really using it in my life — as a practice to become present and to understand why we do what we do, my relationship did get better. Daily I started noticing little changes.
Over time, I realized it had been months, then it became years since we’d had one of those awful ugly cry fights that used to crowd my days.
So yes, you can have an incredible relationship.
Yes, it can get better.
And, yes I am still scared but for different reasons. I never want this to end. I have such a deep love that is so far from anything I could have ever imagined sitting in that therapist’s office 23 years ago. I only wish she could have taught me about the Enneagram then. It could have saved years of tears and pain.
I want to share it with you. Please join me for a free webinar March 17.
Namaste,
Jen
P.S. If you know someone in your life who could benefit from this work, please feel free to invite them to join us on March 17th.