| I know this one is a little longer than usual… Stay with me 3min and you will reap the benefits. I love you guys! Thank you for hanging out with me so many years! I was in my early 20s when I started trying to heal from my trauma. It was so damn hard! After my first therapy session, I went home and cried for the remainder of the night and went to bed. When I showed up for my next appointment the therapist said, “I’m shocked you came back. Most people run away when the real pain is brought to the surface.” The truth was I did not want to go back, but I was single, still in college (undergrad) and 12 weeks pregnant. I knew it was time to heal rather than bring a baby into my crazy drama-filled life. I believe without a shadow of a doubt that had I not been pregnant, I would not have been as committed as I was. With the help of some unbelievable therapists, books, teachers, yoga, and a strong spiritual practice, and so many amazing friends who listened to me tirelessly, I have continued to do the work for 28 years. When I went to that first session and put all my sh!t on the table, it felt so overwhelming and heavy. I was filled with shame and guilt for creating my mess of a life. I remember asking Nancy, my therapist if she could just flip a switch and make me better. She laughed and said, “well when I find that magic switch, I will be a wealthy woman.” I have discovered some incredible practices that certainly feel magical and mystical . These practices bring me to the present moment in an instant, and it is as if I can flip a switch and not be in crazy-mode. However, I had a lot to learn about trauma and how it was showing up in my life. And, believe me, it was definitely showing its ugly head in all the wrong places. I could not understand how and why I was always in the middle of some drama. It was as if it chased me. What I did not realize at the time was I was actually creating the drama! Unbeknownst to me, I was the creator of all of it! Here’s the thing, the subconscious mind is running the show 96% of the time aka your thoughts, feelings and beliefs are on autopilot. When we have unresolved trauma it is always in the background, shaping behaviors and beliefs in subtle ways. Here are a few of the ways it can manifest in our lives. 1. We recreate similar situations to past traumatic experiences as a way to unconsciously to either process the event or to gain mastery over the situation. 2. We also develop a conditioned internal role (e.g., victim, rescuer, martyr) and replay the dynamics of our trauma, seeking validation or connection. 3. Familiarity Feels Safe (Even When It’s Harmful) Comfort in the Known: The brain associates familiar patterns with safety, even if those patterns are dysfunctional or painful. 4. Reinforcing Beliefs: If someone has internalized negative beliefs from trauma (e.g., “I’m unlovable”), we may unconsciously choose situations or relationships that confirm those beliefs. 5. Trauma Impacts the Nervous System in so many ways! Here are 2: a. Hyperarousal and Dysregulation: Trauma can leave the nervous system in a heightened state of stress, making calm or healthy situations feel “boring” or unfamiliar. You are in constant fight or flight. b. Addiction to Adrenaline: Some may unconsciously be attracted to the intensity of traumatic situations, because the body is so accustomed to operating in survival mode. Healing requires recognizing these patterns and addressing the underlying pain with curiosity and compassion rather than judgement and criticism. Looking at those patterns can be so incredibly painful. It is human nature to avoid feeling pain. So we drink, eat, binge, purge, vape, cut, shop, etc… Then we get caught in a loop of shame and guilt. We blame family, friends, work, stress, anything really to avoid looking in the mirror. We label the addiction as the problem. The truth is these substances/actions are secondary to the root problem. This is why 99% of rehabs fail. Getting clean and sober is only half the battle. When there is nothing to numb the pain, and we are faced with healing the trauma, we want to run away! So how does unresolved trauma show up in your life? On a scale from 1-10 rank where you are. Always looking to level up because there is an underlying story telling You Are Not Enough! Avoids intimacy because it triggers memories of past abuse.Every relationship feels like chaos and drama. Always on overdrive and feeling burned out. Eating or drinking too much more often than you should. Isolates socially, fearing vulnerability or rejection. Every situation seems like a hurricane is in the room and there is always a crisis! Your friends and family always take advantage of you. Your significant other does not appreciate all you do. No one understands how hard you are working, and yet nothing seems to work in your favor. If you scored above a 10 on this short form, you are ready for change! I am only scratching the surface here. The longer I have been in practice, the more clarity I have around why we are all suffering. There is unresolved trauma and the shame and guilt around it keeps us in a tailspin. That tailspin creates a story that is on repeat. “Wherever you go, there you are” Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book reminds us that we cannot escape ourselves and our mindset. If we want to heal, we have to do the inner work and not only rewrite the story but rewire the subconscious mind. If you are ready to really heal and stop re-creating a life that is a trauma response, let’s do it. I have a new program that is launching January 29. Schedule a free consult today Here are 7 promises if you commit to the work: 1. Remove Your ULP (Upper Limit Problem)Reduction in Emotional Intensity: You will have fewer emotional outbursts and the overwhelming feelings of “sad, mad, anxious, all the things.” Expand your Capacity to Feel Good: The ability to feel joy, love, abundance, and gratitude without fear that the other shoe is going to drop.Remove Your ULP (Upper Limit Problem): Expand your capacity to feel good, and Make More Money! 98% increase their income 3-10x within 6 months. Release of Shame and Guilt: Letting go of self-blame and seeing yourself with compassion and grace. 2. Increased Self-AwarenessUnderstanding Your Triggers: Recognizing and managing situations or feelings that used to overwhelm you. Be able to Stop. Drop. And, Roll when you do get triggered. Clarity of Who Am I: Feeling more in touch with who you are and why you do what you do and not what you want to do. How does the saboteur show up in your life? Empowered Choices: Making decisions from a place of confidence rather than fear or habit. And, learn about the power of habit and mindset to change everything! Know Your True Purpose: Why am I here? Your Soul has a calling. Are you listening? 3. A Sense of SafetyIn Your Body: Feeling at home in your body, with a calmer nervous system and fewer physical symptoms of stress and or illness. The Body Keeps Score. Find the places in your body that are keeping that score. In Relationships: Learning to trusting others without fear of abandonment or betrayal. In Life: Learning to experience the world as a less threatening and more welcoming place. 4. Better Physical HealthReduced Stress Symptoms: Improvements in sleep, digestion, and chronic pain as the body moves out of survival mode. Again, this is where you get to take score and watch your body thrive! Increased Energy: Feeling more vitality as the weight of unresolved trauma lifts. (I have had clients lose over 100 lbs after they reclaim their health and heal the trauma. 5. Healthier RelationshipsStronger Boundaries: Recognizing and communicating your needs without guilt or shame. Deeper Connections: Building relationships based on trust, mutual respect, and authenticity. Freedom from Toxic Friends and Family: Letting go of people or patterns that no longer serve you. 6. A New PerspectiveHope and Optimism: A sense that healing and positive change are possible. Rewriting Your Story: Viewing yourself as resilient, strong, and not only capable but a complete BADASS rather than broken. Gratitude for Growth: Appreciating the lessons and strength gained from overcoming adversity. 7. Sense of Peace and WholenessLiving in the Present: Letting go of the grip of the past and focusing on the here and now. Inner Calm: A quieter mind and a balanced emotional state. Alignment with Your Values: Living in a way that feels authentic and purposeful. Are you ready to Take The Leap and Heal? I cannot wait to see you all! I am so freaking excited to launch this program. Since it is the first time, I am offering it to you at a beta-testing price which is 50% off. If you or someone you know has drama or is just ready to transform your life, schedule a free consult today! |
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